Valentines 2015

Valentines 2015

Sunday, July 14, 2013

"Why do you always dress them the same?"

As soon as I found out I was pregnant with twin girls I started dreaming of all of the cute, frilly, pink and purple outfits they would be wearing.  I knew I had no intention of being one of "those" moms that dressed their twins in the same clothes every day.  Hello, the kids are individuals! Why are you crazy moms dressing your kids the same?!

Perhaps I had spoken too soon. Once I became a mom to twin girls I quickly understood exactly why these moms may have dressed their kids in identical clothing.

There are so many things that you have to keep in mind as a mom of twins that may not be in the front of your mind as a mom to a singleton.  For one, you are constantly comparing your multiples, even if you try not to....
Sally is already hopping on one foot and running, and Samantha is still only walking....I wonder if there is something wrong with she delayed?  Should I be concerned?  

Now multiply this mindset times everything...

  • Speech and communication skills: Sally knows 25 words and Sam only knows 15; or, Sam is signing a lot, but Sally will only sign more and milk
  • How much they eat: Sam eats everything that is put in front of her, but Sally won't eat anything - I wonder if I need to supplement
  • How much they weigh: Sally weighs 2 lbs more than Sam, is that okay?!
  • How much they sleep: Sam is a great sleeper, but Sally only sleeps 7 hours a night, should I be concerned??
I could go on and on! It's difficult not to drive yourself crazy comparing your multiples! But rule #1 of having multiples....try not to compare them to each other! 

Okay, so I can work on that....but what about when other people do?  Then what?

One day when we were at Whole Foods in the checkout line with the girls when it happened....
"Wow, she is gorgeous!  And how cute is that outfit?!" a woman behind us in line says
"Oh, thank you" I say, smiling at her
"Oh, and you are pretty too" she says to our other peanut....(an apparent afterthought)
"We are very blessed with two beautiful little girls" I replied back

And at that moment it hit me.....the girls were going to get enough input from people around them about who was smarter, who was prettier, who was better dressed.....and I didn't want to play into it. Perception is everything in our American culture.  I didn't want the girls to think that I was purposely dressing one of them in cuter clothes than the other or was treating one girl differently from the other.  From that point forward, I purchased almost exclusively matching outfits for the girls.  If complimentary outfits were available I would purchase the complementary options, but otherwise, everything was purchased in identical sets of 2, from tops and pants, dresses and skirts, all the way down to socks and hair bows.

This is what the girls' closet looks like today...essentially 2 of everything!

The girls will be 3 in October, and they love to pick out what they wear each day. I give them two options.  They can both wear the same, or they can each wear one of the different outfits. I would say that about 97% of the time they choose to wear the same exact outfit.  Maybe as the girls grow older and start school and start to pick out their own clothes when we go shopping they will choose to wear different clothes, but for now, they are almost always dressed the same....and they like it.

What about you? Do you dress your twins the same?  If so, why?  Are our reasons similar?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Until next time - 


  1. I try to remember not to buy 2 of the same clothes when I shop but I still slip up. I've also started trying to dress them differently for just about the same reasons you have though. Their personalities and preferences are so different that I don't want people lumping them together and treating them the same because they are dressed alike. I guess this is more critical for me because they are in daycare and I want their caregivers to see and treat them as individuals

  2. It didn't dawn on me for a long time, but I finally realized that's very much why I dress our girls similarly. I know it sounds so silly, but I don't want one to be perceived as being dressed "cuter" than the other. :)

    If at all possible, I buy coordinating outfits for the girls.

    And like you, I give them the choice of what they want to wear. Sometimes they want to match, sometimes not.

    But deep inside, when one picks a dress and the other picks shorts...I cringe. ;)

    The other reason I'd cite is that coordinating / matching outfits makes doing laundry easier. At a quick glance, I can tell how many clean outfits I have to pull from, and when I need to do some laundry. If they wore things just willy-nilly, I think that would be a lot harder to gauge.

    As Olusola said, though, I've started trying not to dress them exactly the same since they started school. I was OK with it after a few months, but especially at first, I didn't want to encourage their teachers, and especially their classmates, to view them as a "unit".

    First world problems, for sure! Hahaha!

  3. I have boys, so that's a little different because they don't usually get commented on their clothes like girls do. Mine are fraternal as well & I used to dress them in the same or matching or coordinating all of the time - for ease, for cuteness, because that's what people gave us.

    They just turned 3 last week & have been picking out their own clothes for some time now because they have a BIG opinion on what they wear. They rarely pick matching anything anymore - and I'm fine with that because they are so different and each an individual, so unless we're going to a specific function & I have them dress up - they do their own thing & I'm OK with that.

    I can see both sides for sure.

  4. They are so cute! I dress my boys alike too. Though they're not twins. I do it because its easier for us to all get out of the house quicker and off to our actives. And because I can keep track of them easier at the park, zoo, etc. And they seem to get a kick out of wearing the same shirt!

  5. I actually went in with a different mindset...I wanted to dress themt he same bc I thought it was cute, but figured as soon as they could talk they would ask to dress differently and that would be fine with me. So, I usually buy the same outfit in two different colors, but all of the sudden, they FREAK OUT whenever they don't get to wear the exact same thing. It is kiling me because I feel like the different color thing is so helpful for other people who can't really tell them apart (not to mention that there aren't many things that I have two of the exact same thing of). Funny how their sweet little minds work :)

  6. With boy-girl twins, it isn't as tempting to dress them the same (obviously), but I do coordinate them for pictures and for special occasions. Reason? It's cute!! And, I can because I am a twin mama ;-)


Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!