Valentines 2015

Valentines 2015

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Harder than I thought. . .

The first 4 weeks or so with twin babies was hard. I hate to admit it, especially after all we had to go through to get these little munchkins here, but there were several times during that period that I wished I could go back to work. My thought process was that everything would be back to "normal" if I went back to work instead of being the resident milk cow and mommy 24 hours a day 7 days a week - which is SO very hard. I enjoyed being mommy to the girls, but it was exhausting, and I really felt like I lost every ounce of who I was during that time period (I never left the house, didn't get any sleep, etc.). Since then it has gotten much better. The feedings have been further apart. I have learned to pump and feed the the girls what I pump instead of breastfeeding every time they needed to eat. They have been sleeping more at night, and have been taking longer naps during the day. They have started cooing to communicate. They have started to smile =). I am comfortable taking them out in public by myself. I REALLY enjoy being with them ALL the time.

Well, I started back to work last week. Part time. 2 ten hour days. WOW is all I have to say. I go to full time next week. I will be working 4 ten hour days. People told me that it would be hard to go back to work, but I seriously underestimated how HARD it would be to leave the girlies every day. I mean WOW. I miss them SOOOO much when I'm gone. And they don't even realize that I'm gone right now - they are still too little to comprehend what is going on. It's only going to get worse. What am I going to do when they can look at me and say "Mommy, I don't want you to go"??? UGH. Not looking forward to that day.

I am very very lucky to have an understanding boss that is letting me work 4 - 10 hour days as opposed to 5- 8 hour days. That gives me a whole extra day home with my girlies, and an extra day that I don't need to pay the nanny to stay with the girls. Don't get me wrong - we have a great setup. My dad (Papa Ken as he is passionately being referred to) is staying with the girlies 1-2 days a week depending on his schedule, and we have a friend who is in college who is nannying for us for the remaining 2-3 days per week. The girls don't have to leave the house at all, and we are very blessed to have wonderful people to watch them when mommy and daddy aren't around. But it still isn't the same. It's not me at home with the girls. And even though I thought it wouldn't bother me all that much to go back to work, it is.

Unfortunately we don't have the option at this point for me to stay home with the girls. Si recently took a different job with a decent pay increase, but it still isn't enough to make ends meet if I stayed home. I am the breadwinner, and I guess this is one of the negatives of being in that role. Sigh. Grandma Pat will be eligible for retirement in a couple of years, so maybe she will want to stay home and watch the girlies. Or maybe Si really will be able to start his own business and I can stay home and work for him. Only time will tell. All I know for now is that everything happens for a reason. While I was very worried about daycare while I was pregnant with the girlies, I had faith that God would show us the path we were supposed to take with them. Boom - Grandpa and nanny Whit and 4 -10 hour days. Awesome.

Next on our list - we need a minivan. I really want a 4WD Toyota Sienna. . .but we can't afford the $40K price tag for a new one, and that's really what we would need to buy to get the payments where we need them and a good interest rate. My grandparents have a Town and Country Touring and they LOVE it, so we are looking at that. It's not 4WD though, and we do live in Nebraska and the winters here can be nasty and can make 4WD a necessity. Right now we have a 4WD Ford Escape and I love it. . .it just doesn't have enough room for the girls AND all their stuff, and there's no room for the pugs. We must have room for the pugs. They travel with us all the time when we go out of town. Since the girls have been born we simply haven't gone out of town because there isn't enough room in the Escape. Sigh. A minivan. I never wanted a minivan. Si still doesn't want a minivan. Does anyone have any insight on what minivan would be best for a decent price, or what SUV you have if you have multiples, and if it has enough room for everything? We don't have 3rd row seating and I wonder if that would be enough and then we could stay in the realm of SUV's. I think if you have 3rs row seating though you don't have the extra storage space in the back for all of the stuff that goes along with babies. . .well, unless you have a Tahoe or something. But I digress. . .let me know if you have any insight.

What else is going on? Oh, well, miss Olivia is sleeping through the night without waking up for a feed EVERY NIGHT. Every night! Or at least every night for the last 10 days. It's great. Brianna did really well for about 4 days, going to bed at 10 or so and waking up at 4 or 5 AM to eat then going right back to sleep, but the last several days have been totally different. Not going to bed until Midnight, up at 4 or 5 and NOT going back to sleep. Boo. I'm back to work now - didn't she get the memo?! Momma needs her sleep too! And then if she doesn't sleep she is a bear for grandpa in the morning. Come on kiddo! Take a lesson from your sister =). LOL. Actually we know how lucky we are to have twins sleeping essentially through the night at 12 weeks. Bri has just had a couple of slip ups is all. More often than not she makes it through the night. And it is WONDERFUL. I forgot how great it was to sleep. It's glorious. Thank you CIO (cry it out) and sleep training.

During the day we are doing Eat, Play, Sleep cycles and that seems to be going pretty well too. The girls are actually really good and relatively easy babies. It makes life a lot easier =). And it will make life easier for the nanny too. And a happy nanny and happy babies lead to a happy mommy and daddy too. YAY. I will keep you guys updated with how everything goes next week when I am back to work full time. Yikes.

I will leave you with some pictures of the girlies. They can hold their heads up totally on their own now. It's amazing when they learn to do something new! The next thing I expect them to do? Roll over. It's coming. . .any day now!

Here's a pic of momma and the girlies from the other day =)

And here's a pic of me and the girls too, but this is more me proving to people who doubted me that this really can be done! I am simultaneously feeding both babies. . .it's much easier now that they have more neck control. I've also noticed that since I am gone all day and pump during the day that I am dead set on breast feeding while I am at home with them. It's my special time with them, and I love it. =)

Here's a pic of the girls from today - hanging out in their boppies next to each other. Both are smiling, although you can't tell as much from Bri (on the right). She's still perfecting the perfect smile, and she hasn't mastered holding it for more than a second- which is never the second I am flashing the camera of course =)

And here's a pic of the girls out cold in their car seats. If you need them to sleep, stick them in the car seats and drive around for 10 minutes=). They usually wake up pretty soon after we get back home and out of the car, but sometimes a cat nap is all they need to feel refreshed and not quite so cranky=).

Okay, that's all for now! Hope you all are doing well - and as always - comments are welcome =).


  1. Hi Megan, my girls are a month younger than yours. I had to give up my sporty red mazda3 compact for a minivan. I went for the Mazda5 which is smaller than the conventional vans and seats 6. I have a picture of my blog showing how I crammed the car seat, double stroller and groceries in the van. It may work for you with snow tires. I consider it a transitional vehicle until I can get what I'm really drooling after

  2. A minivan???? But you are right - its what you need. But you need spinners on the wheels too. :-)

    You are doing so wonderful. I want you to send the picture of you breastfeeding the twins to milkworks. They would love that. Or send it to me and I'll forward it to the doc there.

    I can't imagine how much harder twins are than a singleton but our first 3-4 weeks with my guy were so hard. And its a bit of a let down because you think, I finally get to meet my baby! I've been waiting and waiting and here he is! And then, its miserable. You're terrified, exhausted in the worst way, and reeling, and healing. But when they smile - you forgive them and it feels doable again!

    We're thinking of getting a Honda Pilot 4wd with dvd players. 3 row seating. Not sure about the storage situation though. That's a valid point and concern. But definitely stick with 4wd. I live 45 minutes away on a highway and you need your 4wd to come see me! ;-)

    Can't wait until next Wednesday! HOLD OUT WEATHER!

  3. Ms. O - thanks for your input! I checked out your blog and you can get quite a bit in the back of your minivan with the seats down! How much can you get in with the third row seats up? We have a different stroller (Graco duo glider) and it doesn't fold up the same way yours does and it ends up taking up most of the length of the back of our Escape making it difficult to fit more than a moderate amount of groceries back there with it. Thanks for your input and comment!
    Sheila - LOL @ the spinners! HA! I think Si would die! I think it would be crazy classy=). I don't disagree with you on the 4WD. We can't get out of our neighborhood even when it snows without 4WD half the time. It just sucks that the only minivan that is 4WD is the Sienna and it's crazy expensive. Si has suggested the Pilot at least 10 times. I think we just need to go and test drive one and see how much crap we can cram into the back of it, Who knows, maybe it would work beautifully and then this whole minivan thing would be a non-issue. And of course you can send the pic along to Milkworks =). I sent it to you via email - let me know if you don't get it!
    Thanks for your comments ladies!

  4. hi megan. i can't remember if i've posted to your blog before or not . . . but i've been stalking for a long while now. we have b/g twins that are 2.5 months old now. your girls are a few weeks ahead. i wanted to find out when you started CIO with your girls? i keep thinking our babes are too young, but maybe not!

  5. Hi Zoe! Thanks for stalking =) and congrats on your b/g twins!! You know, at our 2 month pediatrician visit she told us that we were absolutely fine to proceed with CIO. She said they were absolutely not too young (that was my concern too).
    What's the longest they have ever slept without waking up to feed? At that time I think Olivia had made it 5 or 6 hours and Brianna had made it 5 hours. Also, are they good weights? My girlies are nice "normal" sized babies now (70th and 80th percentiles for weight), even though they started out much lower - in the 2nd and 4th percentile. We were on formula with extra calories in the beginning for a few weeks for 2 feeds a day, so if they would have still needed to be on that regimen maybe she wouldn't have let us try CIO (as early on, crying would burn too many calories - believe it or not), but as it was she gave us a definite green light. If your little ones are within normal ranges and such, I would think that yours would be good to go too!
    Do you have a blog? I went to go check it out and see pics of your babes, but alas, I couldn't find your blog. Regardless, thanks for following, and definitely feel free to comment any time!!

  6. Megan- your girls are getting so big! We have that same pink outfit with the puppy on the front- gotta love target! Don't worry about sleep- better sleep is coming. I haven't posted this on my blog yet (because I'm superstitious) but we put our girls to bed at around 6:30 every night and they sleep until about 4:00 the next morning. Amelia sleeps even later sometimes. Once we got a good bedtime routine, they started sleeping so much longer.

    Is it me, or is cry-it-out with twins so much more brutal??? We don't do it at night because we don't need to but I had to do it a little during the day. Now that daddy is back to work, I can't rock babies to sleep for every nap. But it's so hard! I mean, we only had to do it once or twice before they got the picture but man! Sucks! Your girls look great and so do you!

  7. Your girls are precious! We have a suburban, and even with the 3rd row seat we have plently of room for a stroller(Graco Quatro Tour Duo) and other things. My girls are just a couple of weeks older than yours. Good luck with your first full week at work!

  8. megan - our babies are great weights as far as i'm concerned. both almost 12 pounds. at our 2 month appt, they were still in the 40th % but if you adjust them (born at 36w), they are rocking. hazel jane sleeps through the night - somewhere between 7-10 hours and has for several weeks. benjamin doesn't and i think he still needs to have one feeding at night. my trouble with them is during the day when they are so tired, but want to be held or feed for comfort. yesterday i put them in the pack & play on their tummies and they each slept 3 hours. i was in the same room, i'd never do it at night, and i just wanted to see what it would yield! i'm interested in CIO right now more when they are full, but tired and just need to sleep. good to know i can introduce, if only i muster the courage.

    i had a blog, but we have 7 kids now between my husband and i and i gave up! but my sister keeps one and just did an awesome entry on our little monkeys!

    we are actually from kearney. we lived their until i was in 6th grade - when we moved to texas. my step-sisters are still in lincoln. i don't know how you do it bundling up the babies! i'm sick of the 40 degree weather in atlanta!

    going back to work with my two older boys nearly killed me. but believe it or not, you catch up on sleep and the whole thing is a blur. look at me - 38 years old, 5 kiddos and we decided to have another! twins are crazy but it's been such a blessing. thank goodness i forgot everything and get to learn it all like new.

    so keep posting. i'm remembering what's next from you as i go.

  9. Hey woman! I feel your pain about work. I'm not in the same situation now but I've been there before - both with balancing work and motherhood and with being the family breadwinner. Being a new mom can be such a bundle of conflicting emotions. It sounds like you're doing your best and making the most of the flexibility you have. Good for you!!!

    I *NEVER* *EVER* wanted at minivan. Sean used to push and push for one and I thought he was nuts. Of course, after we found out about the twins I buckled because nothing else made sense. We ended up shopping around for a used Honda Odyssey and I have to say, I LOVE IT. We ended up finding a great deal on a 2005 Odyssey and it's the best car I've ever owned. Two years ago I would have told my friends to lay off the drugs if they told me how much I would love this minivan, lol. I can't recommend it enough. And, by getting the used one we saved a lot. It's got so many bells and whistles I never even think about it being a 2005. The 2011 ones can probably fly but we just could not afford to buy new.

    I LOVE the picture of you nursing the girls. So beautiful!!!!!

  10. Stephanie - I understand being superstitious! Congrats on getting your girlies to sleep through the night! It really is awesome isn't it?! Since my post Brianna made it nearly 10 hours through the night without waking and it was awesome! Of course then Olivia had to level the playing field and get up at 4 AM (boo), but at least now I know it can be done! And I agree - CIO with twins IS brutal. The girls generally do pretty well tolerating each other's crying, but not always. They like to "talk" to each other and they will "cry" to each other too. As if one crying baby isn't enough, having her sister join in makes it the twin tabernacle choir in surround sound - LOL!
    Loribeth - thanks for your input =). How's the gas mileage with your suburban?
    Zoe - WOW - you are one busy woman!!! I totally understand not having time to blog! LOVE the pictures your sister took though - SO precious!!!
    I think that your kiddos are great weights, and I totally understand having to build up the nerve to let them CIO. It IS torturous! You can do it though! And awesome for getting them to be happy on their tummies! My girls just scream every time we do tummy time. Something has got to give. I could probably prop them up a little and that would help. . .otherwise, what did you do to make your little ones be so content on their tummies?
    Jules! How are you momma? See, I think that is exactly how I am going to be with a minivan too. I am SO resistant to it (as is Si), but I think as soon as we get one we will love it and won't know why we spent so much time debating and trying to figure out how we could get out of it. So the Odyssey eh? Good to know. I will definitely put that on our test drive list!
    =) @ the picture comment. I love that picture too! I was a little cautious to post it as I didn't want to offend anyone, AND you never really know who is reading your blog, but I decided to be proud and just post it. So glad I did! Are you tandem nursing your little ladies at all? Single breast feeding is still easier for me I think (and I feel like I get more quality time with each of the girls individually that way), but the tandem is pretty darn cool too=). Thanks for commenting!

  11. FYI: I went and spied on minivans last night. DON'T TELL ANYONE! The black, tinted windows Honda Odyssey almost had me say, "I like that one." ALMOST. It didn't really look minivanish to me. I wonder/doubt it comes with 4WD and that's such a necessity.

    I also peeked into the windows of the Pilots. Not much room AT ALL between 3rd row and the back of the vehicle. MAYBE a stroller on its side. BUT then if both kiddos were in the middle there would be lots of room for groceries.... What if you left the middle row up as is with each girlie on the side as you do now with your escape and then put the 3rd row seating in leaving the one seat down (2/3 up 1/3 down) then instead of having to climb in and put the middle row down to get to the back row you could access the 3rd row from the rear hatch. Would that work???? Maybe I'm missing something but now I'm all excited!!!


Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!