Valentines 2015

Valentines 2015

Friday, February 12, 2016

To Separate, or Not to Separate?

I feel like I haven’t talked to you guys in forever! In truth, it’s been quite a long while. So sorry! When I started taking my Master’s classes (way back in 2013!) I quickly cut down on my blogging.  That’s sad though, because I have SO much to say!  LOL. First things first, I will be done with my Master’s in May, thank goodness, and then I will have part of my life back! I’m glad that I went back to school but absolutely underestimated the amount of time it would take me to do an online degree program.  I’m happy to be done.  Well, almost done.

In the meantime, there have been lots of happenings in the Hollibaugh household.  Hudson is 3.5, and a heart breaker! He’s the sweetest most ornery kid I think I’ve ever met.  I go between wanting to hug and snuggle the crap out of him and wanting to hang him by his toenails.  LOL.  If only I was kidding. The girls (Livvy and Bri) are now 5, and could not be more different.  Olivia is a total girly girl princess who never stops talking (ever) and Brianna is a super creative total tomboy who loves to do things on her own.  Honestly, they complement each other perfectly! HA! 

What I’d like to talk about today is school, and to separate, or not to separate your multiple’s in the classroom.  First, what we’ve done.  Olivia and Brianna are in their second year of Montessori.  The Montessori they attend has 4 preschool classes, so we were given the option to keep the girls together or split them.  Year one we decided kept them together in the same classroom.  It seemed to go really well, but at the end of the year, Bri asked to be in a different classroom than her sister.  We weren’t sure if it was just a fluke thing as she’d been pretty happy being in the same class for most of the year, but we were also unsure about keeping them together anyway (many opinions in the multiples community), so we quickly agreed to separate.  This year they have been apart.  While the teachers seem to think that the girls are both doing very well in separate classrooms, that is not really the same sentiment I am getting from either of the girls.  In fact, Olivia and Brianna have both requested to be together in the same classroom again next year.  Okay kiddos, noted.  Honestly whatever they want to do is okay with me.  We don’t have a guidebook for twins (wish we did sometimes!) and frankly I’m okay with the girls calling their own shots with this.  After all, it affects them a whole lot more than it affects me!

So twin and triplet mommas…..what did you do with school?  Or what do you intend to do?  Keep them together?  Split them up?  And why?  Has it worked well? Or not?  Tell me your stories!


  1. Cam and Gray are in second grade and have been in the same class all along. They ask to be together, but I'm not sure I would go on their wishes alone. There are many reasons why we chose to keep them together (all of which have proven to be right and beneficial in our case). I love that they always have an ally in class (girls can be mean, even in the little grades, and I like that mine don't deal with that since they are a team. I don't have to split my time between the two classes at parties, field trips, and conferences. The homework and assignment load is the same and I don't have one kid with a spectacular teacher while the other one has a bad one. I also love having two sets of eyes in every situation. While most singleton families only hear one side of every story, I get two... whether it is a funny story in class or a problem. It is also nice that the girls have the same pool of friends. They don't always gravitate to the same kids, but when being invited to parties, it is fairly convenient that we haven't had to deal with one kid being invited and not the other yet. They look out for one another. It has been kind of awesome.

    The reasons to keep them apart don't really exist in our case. My girls are the best of friends, but not identical. I think having slightly different faces makes it easier on peers and teachers alike (not too much mistaken identity after the first few weeks of a new class). Mine are neither co-dependent nor reliant on one another. They work well together and apart. They are on similar academic levels, so there isn't much rivalry or one thinking she's not as smart. I think if any of these things were in play, our decision might have been different.

  2. This question has been heavy on my mind lately too. My girls are in TK this year (California's public school pre-k) and their school only has one TK class. Next year... I have no idea. They really want to stay together and I want to keep them together too (mostly just to make my life easier) so i guess that should be good enough. Their TK teacher taught kindergarten for 30 years so I'm planning to get her opinion as well. In the end though, everyone's opinion is just that, an opinion. We'll have to do what works best for us which I think will be keeping them together.

  3. Sorry for the late response Ms Megan. How are you doing? I put my girls in different classes and have experienced all the disadvantages that Johanna highlighted above. However, in spite of that I'll continue to have them in different classes primarily for individual development reasons.

    See, Spice makes friends easily and has always had a best friend. Sugar is quite independent and not as socially-savvy as her sister. What was happening in the daycare was she would piggy-back on her sister's relationships. I really want both girls to be able to develop strong friendships outside of themselves and this is the first step to that. I learnt this because my 2 youngest sisters were close in age and in the same class through middle school and high school. Though they shared the same circle of friends, all the friends were originally B's friends then became besties with A. Even as adults, B still talks about this with hurt because she "lost" her best friends to her sister. I really want to avoid that situation with the girls.

    Also want to avoid the teachers and classmates inevitably treating them as two halves of a whole instead of individuals or comparing them unnecessarily (which still happens even with them in different classes).

    PLUS (this is my last point I promise) there is a learning gap between them that's in the opposite direction of their social gap. Sugar is reading at grade 2 level and absorbing school work easily. Spice has been struggling a bit. When they're home, Spice is overly dependent on Sugar helping with her homework. Separating them in school is my way of forestalling this over-reliance.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!