I've been kind of an absent blogger...sorry...
Something has been weighing on my mind for about a month now...
Staying home with my girls
When I went back to work 10 weeks after the girls were born I was honestly a little relieved. I had some "me" time back. I was something other than "the twins mom" for 10 hours a day, 4 days a week. I could go to work without worrying about the girls. I had a fabulous, fully capable nanny for 3 days a week, and my awesome dad for the other day. I was off on Wednesday's, so between Wednesday's and the weekend, I had 3 days off to spend with the girls. Ideal, right?
I liked this set up. I would venture to say it was almost perfect. Until about a month ago....the girls now know that I'm leaving. They know that I'm gone. They sometimes cry when I leave. I don't want to leave.
This is becoming the common scene whenever I leave to go anywhere (work, the store, etc.)
Insert sad face here!
I'm the breadwinner at this point. I've been working in the same government job for 4+ years, and it's been great. I make good money, carry the health insurance, have a good benefits plan with awesome time off.
But my contract ends in June...then what?
Are there other options for me to keep working? Sure!
Is the money guaranteed to be the same? Not a chance.
Are these positions within the VA where I am now? Probably not.
Would I have to start all over with my time off, switch insurance, and move to a different location? Very likely.
Do I want to do this? No.
For the first time, I don't want to advance myself. I want to be with my children.
And this is a STRONG desire....not just yeah maybe that would be cool, but like, this is what I am supposed to be doing desire. We worked SO hard to get these girls here and they are growing up SO fast...I almost feel like I am missing it. And I regret that. I don't want to have regrets.
The bigger piece of this puzzle is money (of course). We just can't afford for me to stay home all the time. I would have to take some sort of job doing something. So we are thinking about our options.
One thing that Si has wanted to do for years and years is be an IA (Independent Adjuster) for catastrophies (hurricane's, floods, tornados, etc.) and travel to where the storms are and work on assessing damage and helping people get their lives back together. I had always told him no before. I wouldn't be able to deal with him being gone for weeks or months on end multiple times a year. But now I'm seriously considering it.
We could go with him.
All of us.
Even the pugs.
24-7 with the girls and the pugs.
I could help do the IA stuff too, so we could work twice as quickly. (okay, or with the girls, maybe 1.33333 x more quickly...lol)
We would get to travel to where the disasters were (something we wouldn't be able to do once the girls are in school).
We would be helping people get their lives back together.
We could make the money situation work.
We would only work 1/2 to 2/3 (ish) of the year (in theory of course), and would be "off" the rest of the time
We would be away from our family and friends
We would get zero breaks together from the girls
We would never know where we were going next or how long we would be gone
I would really have to learn how to budget.
So this is the battle that is going on in my mind right now...and with all of the party planning, there hasn't been as much time to blog. The big banana birthday extravaganza is next Saturday - oye! I hope I'll be ready!
We made a trip to the apple orchard today with our parents of multiples group, and the girlies had a great time =). Here's the girls trying to figure out why we had parked their stroller in the middle of an apple tree. No worries...they figured it out...they each got to pick out 3 apples, and now mommy gets to make them their own batch of applesauce! YAY!
So that's all for now (like that isn't enough!)...hope you are having a happy hump day!
Until next time -