To Separate, or Not to Separate?

I feel like I haven’t talked to you guys in forever! In truth, it’s been quite a long while. So sorry! When I started taking my Master’s classes (way back in 2013!) I quickly cut down on my blogging.  That’s sad though, because I have SO much to say!  LOL. First things first, I will be done with my Master’s in May, thank goodness, and then I will have part of my life back! I’m glad that I went back to school but absolutely underestimated the amount of time it would take me to do an online degree program.  I’m happy to be done.  Well, almost done.

In the meantime, there have been lots of happenings in the Hollibaugh household.  Hudson is 3.5, and a heart breaker! He’s the sweetest most ornery kid I think I’ve ever met.  I go between wanting to hug and snuggle the crap out of him and wanting to hang him by his toenails.  LOL.  If only I was kidding. The girls (Livvy and Bri) are now 5, and could not be more different.  Olivia is a total girly girl princess who never stops talking (ever) and Brianna is a super creative total tomboy who loves to do things on her own.  Honestly, they complement each other perfectly! HA! 

What I’d like to talk about today is school, and to separate, or not to separate your multiple’s in the classroom.  First, what we’ve done.  Olivia and Brianna are in their second year of Montessori.  The Montessori they attend has 4 preschool classes, so we were given the option to keep the girls together or split them.  Year one we decided kept them together in the same classroom.  It seemed to go really well, but at the end of the year, Bri asked to be in a different classroom than her sister.  We weren’t sure if it was just a fluke thing as she’d been pretty happy being in the same class for most of the year, but we were also unsure about keeping them together anyway (many opinions in the multiples community), so we quickly agreed to separate.  This year they have been apart.  While the teachers seem to think that the girls are both doing very well in separate classrooms, that is not really the same sentiment I am getting from either of the girls.  In fact, Olivia and Brianna have both requested to be together in the same classroom again next year.  Okay kiddos, noted.  Honestly whatever they want to do is okay with me.  We don’t have a guidebook for twins (wish we did sometimes!) and frankly I’m okay with the girls calling their own shots with this.  After all, it affects them a whole lot more than it affects me!

So twin and triplet mommas…..what did you do with school?  Or what do you intend to do?  Keep them together?  Split them up?  And why?  Has it worked well? Or not?  Tell me your stories!

"Why do you always dress them the same?"

As soon as I found out I was pregnant with twin girls I started dreaming of all of the cute, frilly, pink and purple outfits they would be wearing.  I knew I had no intention of being one of "those" moms that dressed their twins in the same clothes every day.  Hello, the kids are individuals! Why are you crazy moms dressing your kids the same?!

Perhaps I had spoken too soon. Once I became a mom to twin girls I quickly understood exactly why these moms may have dressed their kids in identical clothing.

There are so many things that you have to keep in mind as a mom of twins that may not be in the front of your mind as a mom to a singleton.  For one, you are constantly comparing your multiples, even if you try not to....

Sally is already hopping on one foot and running, and Samantha is still only walking....I wonder if there is something wrong with Samantha...is she delayed?  Should I be concerned?  

Now multiply this mindset times everything...

• Speech and communication skills: Sally knows 25 words and Sam only knows 15; or, Sam is signing a lot, but Sally will only sign more and milk
• How much they eat: Sam eats everything that is put in front of her, but Sally won't eat anything - I wonder if I need to supplement
• How much they weigh: Sally weighs 2 lbs more than Sam, is that okay?!
• How much they sleep: Sam is a great sleeper, but Sally only sleeps 7 hours a night, should I be concerned??

I could go on and on! It's difficult not to drive yourself crazy comparing your multiples! But rule #1 of having multiples....try not to compare them to each other! 

Okay, so I can work on that....but what about when other people do?  Then what?

One day when we were at Whole Foods in the checkout line with the girls when it happened....
"Wow, she is gorgeous!  And how cute is that outfit?!" a woman behind us in line says
"Oh, thank you" I say, smiling at her
"Oh, and you are pretty too" she says to our other peanut....(an apparent afterthought)
"We are very blessed with two beautiful little girls" I replied back

And at that moment it hit me.....the girls were going to get enough input from people around them about who was smarter, who was prettier, who was better dressed.....and I didn't want to play into it. Perception is everything in our American culture.  I didn't want the girls to think that I was purposely dressing one of them in cuter clothes than the other or was treating one girl differently from the other.  From that point forward, I purchased almost exclusively matching outfits for the girls.  If complimentary outfits were available I would purchase the complementary options, but otherwise, everything was purchased in identical sets of 2, from tops and pants, dresses and skirts, all the way down to socks and hair bows.

This is what the girls' closet looks like today...essentially 2 of everything!

The girls will be 3 in October, and they love to pick out what they wear each day. I give them two options.  They can both wear the same, or they can each wear one of the different outfits. I would say that about 97% of the time they choose to wear the same exact outfit.  Maybe as the girls grow older and start school and start to pick out their own clothes when we go shopping they will choose to wear different clothes, but for now, they are almost always dressed the same....and they like it.

What about you? Do you dress your twins the same?  If so, why?  Are our reasons similar?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Until next time - 
Megan

"How far apart are they?"

"Excuse me?"

"How far apart are your girls? They look pretty close in age."

"Um, they're twins. They are the same age" I replied, puzzled how anyone would think otherwise when looking at two infants.

"Oh. Well that one (pointing at Bri) looks longer in the stroller. I thought she was older and you had this one (pointing at Livvy) soon after having the other one (pointing at Bri)"

Okay, stop right here. My girls look different. I know that. But they don't look that different! They are only 8.5 months old! They aren't walking or running around. One isn't significantly taller or shorter than the other. They weigh within a pound of each other. Why on earth would someone think that they weren't twins?!

Honestly, I knew that this day would come since they are fraternal twins and they do look pretty different. But I was expecting them to make it to at least 3 or 4 years old before I would have to defend their twinhood! They were even dressed the same. I mean come on now people! Seriously! How many moms with same sex daughters of different ages dress them in the exact same outfit? A few do, I'm sure. But I highly doubt it's the majority!

MoM's - have your twins been called out yet as not being twins? Do you have a certain thing that you say when people ask? I mean, I'm used to being asked if they are twins, and I usually have a bit of a script for how I respond to that. But I've got nothing for the opposite question. I guess the technical correct answer to her direct question of "How far apart are they?" would be "One minute". . .is that the response I should use when asked again?

And switching the topic totally to. . .baby monitors! Big change I know. But, ours broke, or is defective, or something. It's an expensive baby monitor too! It's a color video monitor unit complete with sound, as well as a separate portable sound only unit.

We have a 1 1/2 story home, and our bedroom is upstairs while the nursery is downstairs. We wanted to make sure we could have our eyes and ears on the girls in the nursery from our bedroom upstairs. So we got the super expenisve baby monitor. The problem? The sound. The picture is great. We can flip it on and off by pushing one button, and can see a real time picture (usually of Livvy) sleeping (or thrashing) in her crib. Ahhh. But the sound is awful! Full of interference. Like to the point that you can't turn it up because there is no possible way you'd be able to sleep through the crazy increases in static. Then about a month ago, the hand unit died. It just quit picking up any sound at all after we charged it. Weird.

So we contacted the company (Summer Infant) last week and they are having us send it in, and they will send us out a replacement. BUT, it takes 7-10 business days to get it back. So, we have an easy week and a half to two weeks with no baby monitor. That's not okay. So, we were looking to see if there was a relatively inexpensive monitor unit that we could buy that would be good for the two weeks until we get our rockstar unit back. Any suggestions? For the time being we are going to pick up the cheapest one they have at Target and give it a whirl. Hopefully it doesn't suck! Which one do you guys use? Do you love it? Hate it?

Okay, that's all for now! Happy Monday!

Megan

The ultrasound report!

Are you guys ready for this?

I mean, REALLY ready for this??

I don't know if I'm ready for this!

SO, we had our ultrasound today at the RE (reproductive endocrinologist). We are currently about 6 weeks pregnant. Now for the news. On the ultrasound we saw TWO little babies with hearts just beating away. We are currently pregnant with TWINS!!! Can you believe it??? We can hardly believe it! We just stared in awe at the flicker of the heartbeats on the screen. It was AMAZING!

Well, this definitely explains the early morning sickness! Double the HCG = double the symptoms! And the morning sickness will definitely get worse before it gets better. All for a GREAT cause though!

Of course we are still at risk for miscarriage. I probably won't feel incredibly comfortable that this pregnancy will work until we are into the second trimester. BUT, the risk of miscarriage goes down significantly after you see a heartbeat (or heartbeats!). So, for the time being, we are doing GREAT, and we couldn't be happier! We go back for a repeat ultrasound with the RE in two weeks.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support! We love you all!!!

Oh, and a continued reminder to PLEASE not post this information on any social networking site. We would like to continue to keep this from the general public for as long as possible (which with twins, won't be that much longer =), but still). If you would like to talk to us, please email us directly (facebook email is fine), call us, or reply to this post=). Thanks for your understanding!!!