Si took a new job in December. Truth be told, he had to. He was laid off from his previous job. They told him in October. I'm still not sure why they let him go. Maybe they weren't busy enough. Maybe Si was too expensive of an employee. Maybe Si didn't do the paperwork the way they wanted. I don't know. Si took a new job December 15th. Since December 15th he has been out of town for 9 days (8 nights). Soon he will go out of town again, but this time for two weeks straight. TWO WEEKS.
That means, for that two week period, I am a single mom to three young children. A single mom who is also working full time, going to school, running the social events for our non-profit multiples organization, trying to make it to violin practice on time, doing a gazillion loads of laundry because the girls HAVE to wear three outfits a day and (surprise!) one of the kids peed the bed (again), and I'm trying to find time to cook a wholesome meal for my family (screw it, we may live on mac and cheese and hot dogs while Si's gone!). It is exhausting. I have a whole new respect for single parents, I truly do.
My post for the New Year introduced my word for the year: Joy. Finding joy in the little things. But holy crap....it is HARD. I know my kids are growing at the speed of light. I know soon they will be in school and won't want to hang out with me at. all. But for now, I am having difficulty having fun being a mom. I'm probably too busy. I get that. I did that to myself. I do have to work full time, so that's a given, but school? Is that really necessary? What about my volunteer work? If I gave some of these other things up, would I be better able to find the joy in my kids??? I'm not so sure.
How on earth are you supposed to know if you are doing the right things? How do you decide what is most important? I know I am asking questions that don't have any real answer, but it's helpful to know that I'm not the only one thinking this stuff. I'm not, am I?! This mom gig is hard!!
I will leave you with a picture of each of the kidlets...in all of their growing-up-too-fast goodness.
Mr. Hudson - Age 2.5
Miss Olivia (left) and Miss Brianna (right)- Age 4
Have a great weekend peeps!
Until next time -
Megan
You're definitely not alone in these thoughts! For one, I often think about the single parents out there, too...wowza. My hubby and I are a team, especially now that the girls are in school. It would be incredibly hard to balance that by myself for very long.
ReplyDeleteI think so much about the "right balance", too. I had been volunteering, doing something I really loved, since the girls were two. I have finally {almost} decided I just can't do it anymore. I haven't done anything since they started school. I hoped I'd get into a routine and be able to sneak away for a couple of hours each weekend. But I find myself not wanting to do that...to spend the little time I have outside of school and work with my girls. (And the tiny little bit of time I spend away from them, to spend doing something for me -- like getting a pedicure once a month!) It really hurts my heart to have to let this go...but I think it's the right thing for me.
Good luck stepping back and assessing. And hang in there while your hubby is gone!!! Mac and cheese are just fine! :) :)