So, the girls were in the NICU for 8 days and came home last Thursday. They have been home for about 10 days now. When we left the NICU they told us that we would need to follow up with our pediatrician as well as have a home health nurse come out to the house once a week to check on the girls - make sure they are doing well, are gaining weight, etc. Well, we had our first home visit from the visiting nurse the day after we were released from the NICU. That was interesting. Si and I make way too much money to qualify for any services or anything from the state, so we have never had the privilege (I guess) of having a worker out to the house. She really made us feel stupid - and we are both very well educated people - I know that we aren't stupid! Anyway, I digress. When we were released from the NICU the neonatologist had started the girls on Neosure for two feedings a day (a formula specifically created for premature babies - it has extra calcium and phosphorus in it which apparently the babies would have gotten their last month in the womb had they stayed in there that long). The Neosure is a higher calorie formula, so it is supposed to help them gain weight better than breast milk. Now if only it worked and the girls tolerated it well! From what I can tell it made them nothing but gassy and fussy. They spit up more and just generally seemed unhappy. I really didn't like the formula feedings, especially because I was making enough breast milk to feed both of my babies and even get a bit extra left over! If we were going to bottle feed, we could feed breast milk. Anyway, so we were on the neosure to help ensure that the girls were continuing to gain weight. The visiting nurses scale showed that the babies had lost weight (again), which of course freaked momma out (because I didn't want them to have to go back to the hospital to gain weight). She called Olivia "scrawny" which ticked me off because she isn't, and overall her entire visit just left a bad taste in my mouth. She was condescending. . .and she had no right to be.
That was Friday (the 21st? - I can't keep track of days anymore let alone dates!). We saw the pediatrician on Monday (the 24th?). She said that the babies looked great! She said that they didn't even look like preemies and that I had done a wonderful job getting them to the weights that I did before they were born=). She also said that we didn't need to continue the Neosure feedings. She said that there are better more effective ways to increase calorie intake if we need to, but there is no reason to have the girls on a formula that they really don't need that is making their tummies upset. She gave me the go ahead to breastfeed exclusively, 24/7. YAY. She would re-evaluate after we met with the visiting nurse again (this past Thursday - the 28th?), but as long as the babies were gaining at least 2/3 ounce per day, we could stick with breastfeeding only. Well, the visiting nurse cam back on Thursday and apparently her scale and the pedi's scale are WAY off. I knew that the girls had gained weight since Monday but her scale showed that the girls weighed the same as they had when we went to the pediatrician. UGH. I'm really ready to just be able to feed my babies and watch them grow and not worry about whether or not they are gaining enough weight every day off my breast milk! Why does this have to be so difficult?! Anyway, so I am thinking about calling the pediatrician tomorrow to see if I can bring the girls in simply to weigh them and make sure they are gaining appropriately. I'm really not a huge fan of the visiting nurse, so I would rather figure out with the pediatrician's office what I should or shouldn't be doing to help my babies grow big and strong!
What else is going on? Well, the girls have started to become increasingly fussy between about 9 PM and 12 AM. Last night Brianna cried for about 5 hours straight. It was torture! I felt so bad for the little peanut - nothing I/we did could calm her down. She would cry, I would cry, Si's mom would come and take her for a while, but regardless, the vicious crying cycle would continue. Thank God that Si's mom is still here though! She has seriously been a God send. I don't know what I would have done without her here for the last couple of weeks. She has helped with the babies (especially with the middle of the night crying spells/feedings), cooked, cleaned, done laundry, been ridiculously supportive. . .she is AMAZING. I am SO glad she came down to help us. She will be going back home today some time and I am SO sad to see her go. She could just move into the spare bedroom and live with us forever and I would be totally cool with it! My dad is coming to stay with us on Monday and Tuesday, but I don't think he is intending to stay the night (which is really when I need someone the most - 24/7 breastfeeding really catches up to you at about 3:30 AM when what you really need is a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep - HA!). Then my mom will be staying with us for a week, and she will be staying the night, so hopefully that will work out well. We will see. I am really hoping/wishing that we can get the girls on some type of a sleep schedule sometime soon! I mean, they are eating about every 3 hours now, so that is a schedule, but they don't just sleep in between feedings, and especially not in the middle of the night. They seem to be getting a bit better about sleeping in the middle of the night, but they definitely haven't perfected the art of sleeping yet.
Other multiple moms - when did your babies start getting a night time schedule and sleeping semi-regularly? How was dad incorporated into the nightly feedings - especially if you were breastfeeding? Si and I had talked about running a schedule where he would be up with the babies from 9 PM until 2 AM, and I would be up with the babies from 2 AM on (since he is back to work now). That way I could get 5 hours of sleep potentially (if my breasts didn't explode first - lol!). It is just immensely difficult to care for two babies on your own - especially if they are fussy. Props to all of you ladies that have done it! I am definitely still trying to figure it out. And I have SUCH a hard time letting one baby cry while I'm tending to the other. . .how do you "choose" which baby to tend to first if they are both upset and crying? And how does their cry not hurt you?
Okay, that's enough for now. I should probably try to sleep a bit while the babies are sleeping (HA!). I just wanted to drop in and let you know that we are still alive here (barely), and although sleep deprived are still chugging along on the train of parenthood=). Hope you all are doing well!
Oh, and I almost forgot to add in pictures! Sorry!
Here's the girls trying to sleep together in the pack and play =)
Here's the girls hanging out on their boppy on my lap =)
And here's the girls in their carseats for the first time when we left the NICU =)
Hugs to you!!! And, great job on the breastfeeding!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's tough but I have to tell you I was cracking up about you falling asleep while typing your posts. I laugh because I know that tired feeling. I am still tired, but hang in there because here we are at 7 weeks and I am less tired than I was just two weeks ago and way less tired than I was when the girlies were 2-3 weeks old.
I think in the time between 5 and 7 weeks my girls are finally developing a better nighttime rhythm. O is our anomaly, she will sleep about 8 hours a night most of the time at this point. I have NEVER seen a new baby do that, it's amazing. However, L had been waking up every 3 hours pretty much until a few days ago. She's finally starting to go 4-5 hours and fall right back to sleep in the past few days. I'm breastfeeding also and Sean and I are doing what you describe - sort of an 'early shift, late shift' kind of thing. He's frequently up later than I am anyway so he takes the feedings before 2 a.m. which is usually just L because O sleeps so much longer. And, I do all feedings after 2 a.m. so he can get a good 5 hours of sleep himself before it's time for him to go to work. Until around 5 weeks they also had a nasty habit of waking up and crying sometime after 3 a.m. for a few hours at a time. They wouldn't go back to sleep on their own which is totally normal but it was horrible as far as getting any quality rest for us. We took turns sleeping in the living room with the awake one in the swing. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
It just plain SUCKS when both are crying and you have to decide who to attend to first. I have to chant to myself, "Babies cry, it's ok. I'm doing my best...." I worried that I was somehow failing them because I was able to do so much more for my singletons when they were newborns. The crying here is usually related to feeding or needing a diaper change around here so I go with the one who needs the change first, or the one who needs to eat while letting the one I fed last fuss for a while till I can get to her. But, I've also noticed in the past week that they are getting so much better at self-soothing. It's not my choice that they would learn this skill so early but it is convenient because I have so many children, lol. They also have learned to fall asleep (sometimes) on their own much faster than my other two children so that's a plus.
Ok, this is like the longest comment response ever. I hope you're able to stay awake long enough to read the whole thing - hee hee! And, I hope it makes sense because I am fairly sleep deprived myself after all. :) If you have any questions or just need someone to listen to how tired you are feel free to email me any time. And, again, hang in there. It seems like forever but each week it does get better!
I don't really have any advice- just sympathy. We're not really nursing (just pumping a few times a day and feeding bottles) so I can't help you there. I would say that in the night, just let your husband do whatever he can- change diapers, burp babies, put them back in bed. As for night sleep vs. day sleep- I keep reading that during the day you should put the babies to sleep out in the main part of the house with all of the noise and light and activity that that implies. Then at night make it very dark and quiet and be very businesslike during feedings- no talking and playing. We do all that and still have one girl who thinks her bedtime is midnight but it does seem to be helping. Good luck. I keep telling myself it will get better eventually. Its sad that this part makes me wish my girls would hurry up and grow when I also wish they could stay babies forever.
ReplyDeleteMy girls were on the every three hour train until they were about 9 weeks adjusted age. Then they started stretching out their nighttime sleep, but I think we also crammed more feedings into their daytime then.
ReplyDeleteAre you swaddling? That can help with sleep. I also kept nighttime feedings as dull as possible. Lights low, no talking, change, feed, and right back to bed. But, for the first five weeks (?) at least someone was crying from 10-2am.
They are so precious! I didn't breastfeed, so I can't help you much there, but we did Neosure until 4 months. My girls, like yours, couldn't tolerate the powder Neosure (tummy aches/gas), so we did the "ready to feed" bottles and it worked like a charm! So if you have to use formula, you might try the liquid. It's easier, too! My girls were fed every 3 hours (not a minute sooner or later) and started sleeping 10-12 hours by 2 1/2 months and were sleeping 12-13 hours consistently by 4 1/2 months. I'd recommend reading Babywise... we followed it from day 1 and have had great sleepers from the start! Feel free to email me directly if you have any questions that I might be able to shed some light on: kristiw@allcatclaims.com
ReplyDeleteHang in there!!
First of all, congratulations on their arrival! They are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI'd be upset with that visiting nurse, too! Just keep listening to your pedi, it sounds like breastfeeding will be just fine for the kiddos.
My twins are just about 4 months old now, and I'd say they started to settle into a night time routine around 6 weeks old, maybe? It's tough to remember with the lack of sleep!
You're doing great...I hope you get some more sleep soon!
First, congrats on your beautiful girls!
ReplyDeleteI think exhaustion becomes your middle name for the first couple of years. I have friends with twins who joined a support group for parents of multiples and she said it was a life saver. Everyone shared their tips and success stories.
Preemies mean so much to us. I wanted to let you know that we will be participating in the Bloggers Unite Fight for Preemies event on November 17th, Prematurity Awareness Day. I thought you might be interested in joining us. Here’s a link for more info and to sign up to help us spread the word: http://bit.ly/a6y8hj . Nov. 17th is the day we all fight – because babies shouldn’t have to.
Hola Chica! Well I just have a singleton. But I read the above comments and I really like the swaddling one! Adam does soooo much better when he's swaddled really tight. I use the fake out ones with Velcro and I cover him up with a blanket and tuck it tight around him which is technically a no no but it does help him sleep longer. He gets cold so easily.
ReplyDeleteAnd each week does get better for me with my ONE baby so here's hoping for you too momma! I can't wait for when you're ready to get out with those girlies! I see some mall time in our future!
You are a wonderful mom and you were born to be their mother. Tell that hubby of yours hello from us!
Thanks for all your comments and advice ladies!!! It means so much to me that you all took the time to read my post and provide your stories and input. It's great to know that I'm not alone out there in what I am experiencing!. And LOL Jules - that WAS the longest comment post ever, but it was great!=)
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